Was your 4th of July celebration fun, a chore or a yawn?   I have a granddaughter’s birthday that day so it’s a double celebration in our family.

A few years ago, I realized I no longer got excited enough to go to the fireworks.  It had been a whole big “thing” with our family - lots of traditional to always do this or that.  It’s alright to rework some of your traditions now that you're a widow.  It isn’t disloyal to stop doing some things that are no longer fun.  Your husband isn’t standing just out of site with his pad and pencil recording whether you’re living up to expectations.  There is no guilt needed or deserved for changing up things when it fits the needs for you as a single.

Those traditions you still love, keep them going.  Those that need to be put to rest, either simply stop or hand them off to someone else.

So, my celebration is birthday fun, might catch the parade (I do love parades and Galva does a parade just right) and skip the rest.  Except, my neighbors didn’t let me skip the fireworks.  They had spent quite a lot giving all of us a great show,  watched from the comfort of my front porch swing with a cup of coffee.  A new tradition?  Maybe . . .     

Having lunch at P.L. Johnsons in Bishop Hill on June 23, International Widows Day, was a nice time, good food and having old and new friends.

A few extra tips:

1. Consider sharing your location through an app on your phone with someone you trust.  My daughter and I use “Life 360” which is free.  Should I ever have problems and can’t communicate, she will know where I am.  Which brings us to:  When you leave home, take your phone.

2. Which bring us to another:  Let someone know when you’re leaving town

3. Make sure all your kids (or other responsible person) has your license plate number.  There are police cameras on most major roads, all interstate highways, major roads leading into/out of cities and others.  Should you become missing, it is much faster for the police to put in the plate ID rather than search through files that might not be accurate.  

4. And don’t be that person who refuses to use helpful devices, share information with family or consider your own safety.   There’s a fine line between independent and obstinate.  

5. If your children (or if you don’t have children) aren’t willing, able, or trustworthy to use as your contact, then find a friend, another widow or church family.  “I have no one anymore” is not a valid excuse for not being safety conscious.    

July 9, 2024 - Tuesday
1:00 pm at Hill Church
107 N. Main St., Kewanee IL

While visiting, we will be making “Worry Boxes”

We’ve dodged the storm bullets this spring!  (Should all of us knock on wood?)  I don’t think I remember a spring where we’ve had such ideal weather in this area.  I hope you’re enjoying this gift of spring; a reminder that it’s God’s plan to have renewal and new beginnings after the severity of cold and winter.

Hill Church Pastor and counselor, Dr. David Pendergrass, visited us at our May get together.  We talked about widows’ anger.   He offered for our consideration that anger is most often about sadness that hasn’t been acknowledged.   

When you’re angry about something in his dying or in your widowhood, think about why you’re really getting angry about something at this point in your widowhood.  Sometimes anger can be justified in the moment.  But, if you find widow anger recurring after months/years over the same things, did you not let yourself be sad and now it boils up in anger at something else.  And a side note, if you realize you can’t resolve being angry, think about getting professional help.  It’s not about weakness, it’s about becoming strong. 

I read a widow article recently that asked the strong questions:  By dying, did your loved one insist you spend the rest of your days being angry at him for dying?  Angry at anyone who made his dying harder?  Anger at yourself for not doing something revolving around his death?  Did he really want you to live your life miserable, angry, hurt, lonely or depressed?  Did he want you to live your life unhappy?  If not, think about why you are hanging onto those emotions surrounding his death.  Are you afraid to give up anger because then you’d have to admit how sad you are that he’s left you?  Sadness is alright, it’s normal at times, and it has to happen to help you heal.  Notice I didn’t say it has to happen to forget.  Forgetting isn’t the same as healing.  

We have a member of the Kewanee Police Department coming to this meeting.  The topic will be “Security:  Personal and Home”.   I’m pretty excited for this opportunity because loss of security (or the feeling of not being secure) after becoming a widow has been a topic of discussion through our meetings.   Feel free to ask other guests even if they aren’t interested in becoming a part of our group.

 International Widows Day:  On Sunday, June 23, 2024, let’s plan to go to lunch, meeting at P.L. Johnson’s, 110 W Bjorklund St., Bishop Hill around 12 - 12:30.  For those that have a bit of a drive after church, we’ll wait until everyone is there to order.  Celebrate who we’ve become, our friendships and support!  Invite another widow if you’d like - a great way for them to see the benefits of conquering widowhood.


I’ll need reservations by our June 11.  

For menu: see their Facebook page.  For an overview: www.pljohnsonsrestaurant.com   They do have dairy free and gluten free choices.  And homemade desserts - yum!

Hebrews 10:25   “Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”    

As always, feel free to invite other widows to our 2nd Tuesday of every month get togethers.  They don't have to be Hill Church members or a member of any church - widowhood is the key that unlocks our door.

A month ago I was writing the Newsletter in the middle of a blizzard.  Today, April showers have certainly brought May flowers.  Especially this time of the year, I often pause to be thankful for being born in the Midwest, living in the serenity of the beautiful countryside and the wonder of new growth in nature and neighboring new baby livestock.

After a heavy rain today, everything has been washed clean and the colors are vibrant.  As widows, we sometimes need to be “washed clean” and again become vibrant.  As an emerging plant isn’t the same one that became dormant last year, we can become a new us.  A new us that thinks of how life was “before” and begins to consciously build a new season.

 I encourage you to join us to encourage each other, make new friends and understand you may feel alone in this walk of widowhood but you’re actually in a very large group of women who are striving to pave a new vibrant path.   

Have you got the new Hill Church app that allows you to get all our news, including this newsletter.  It has the ability to send you a reminder of the meetings.  You can customize it to get all Hill Church information or only pertaining to our widowhood group. If you have questions or need help, contact Lance at 217-371-3801 - he rocks explaining. 

Last month we ROCKED it!    A first time for most and a lot of great ideas and painting.   There were plans to do more when they got home.  Fun hobbies are a great way to get out of your head and into something new.  We visited (which is always good with other widows) and we laughed.  A Lot.

Dr. David Pendergrass, Hill Church pastor and counselor, has committed to visit again this month.  The last time he visited, we had some newly widowed and some of the emotions were raw.  Nine months later, it will be interesting to understand how far you’ve come and talk about what your needs are now.  I thought the general topic would be “Bringing peace into widowhood”.   

Here are some resources you may enjoy: 

*  www.bravetwin.com  Developed by Pam Bates, her May Newsletter is full of new activities.

*  Founder of the Modern Widows Club, Carolyn Moor has a new on-line series of instructional events that you may like.  She lists Club events for June 2024 on her Facebook site:  Carolyn Moor Mwc 

Links:  www.healthywidowhealthywoman.org  
  www.modernwidowsclub.org
  www.carolynmoor.com 

On Sunday, June 23, 2024, let’s plan to go to lunch, meeting at P.L. Johnson’s, 110 W Bjorklund St., Bishop Hill around 12 - 12:30.  For those that have a bit of a drive after church, we’ll wait to order.  Celebrate who we’ve become, our friendships and support!  Invite another widow if you’d like - a great way for them to see the benefits of conquering widowhood.  

I’ll need reservations by our June 11.  

For menu: see their Facebook page.  For an overview: www.pljohnsonsrestaurant.com   They do have dairy free and gluten free choices.  And homemade desserts - yum!

Romans 1:12   That we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine.  

As always, feel free to invite other widows to our 2nd Tuesday of every month get togethers.  They don't have to be Hill Church members or a member of any church - widowhood is the key that unlocks our door.

Good grief on this snowy blizzard of a morning!  It’s pretty but like the little daffodils, I’m finding it an intrusion upon my positive spring outlook!  One thing widows eventually learn to master is deliberately deciding to think positive.  That positivity may take a hit at certain times, but we each develop a means to grab onto deciding to make today better.   And if you can’t make today any better, then try again tomorrow.  Learn the tricks - a cup of tea, a good book, your favorite TV show, visiting a friend, going someplace new or writing in your journal.  Does it make grief go away?  Not always - although doing these little things can help get through those sad times.

The  above picture is from our February Valentine’s party.   What a fun time.  

We had a bunch of busy folks in March, so we spent some time visiting and talking about where we are and how we’re doing.  It’s always a treasure to have other widow(s) to care and understand.

Pastor Lance Hampton did a “hands on” help to get the new Hill Church app on our phones.  I will be transitioning all CW electronic communications to this app, including the Newsletter.  Also, notification of the routine monthly get togethers and other communications.  All you have to do is download the new Hill Church app!  

The app allows you to decide how much and what information you wish to receive - from everything going on at Hill Church or just the Conquering Widowhood info.  These choices will fit nicely with us as we have as many non-Hill members in our group as members.  Google Hill Church if you have an I-phone or Hill Church-Kewanee if you have other.   

I’ll give Lance all our e-mail addresses and he will enter into the new system.  You will need to get the app on your phone.  If you have questions or need help, contact Lance at 217-371-3801 - he rocks explaining.

 Rocks get a bum rap.  “Dumb as a box of rocks!”  “Crazy like a rock star!”  “Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo!”  At our April 9th get together, we’re going to rock it all night long - or until 2:30!

I’ll be bringing some flat smooth rocks for us to paint.  I got the idea when one of my husband’s daughters routinely brought a hand-painted rock to put on her father’s grave.  And as a gardener, various grandchildren have given me hand-painted rocks for the flower beds or porches.  Some of them have been painted like ladybugs, bees, with a cross, a heart, flowers, frogs, smiley faces - you get it.  If you’re not rock painting inspired, google “painted rocks” and there will be something that strikes your fancy. 

My friend (and widow) Pam Bates (Galva’s Braving Widowhood founder) is always happy to welcome other widows’ groups to her fun events.  Here are two 2024 plans:

April 27 - 11:30-1:30 in Bishop Hill:  Painting a cardinal barn quilt.  $35 each includes supplies.  Coffee/snacks afterward.
May 31 (perhaps more days according to response) - Trip to Amana Colonies/Williamsburg IA.  $100 due by April 20 - final cost determined on how many days (motel/food/etc.)

I’m still in talks to get our speaker for “Security for Widows”.  Home, driving, on-line, out and about.   As always, let me know if there’s something you’d like to do or hear about. 
As always, feel free to invite other widows to our 2nd Tuesday of every month get togethers.  They don't have to be Hill Church members or a member of any church - widowhood is the key that unlocks our door.

Blessings,
Diane Gibson
309-854-3384